Levi;

A couple of thoughts for you.  A few weeks ago your mom says you started talking to yourself when you wake up.  What's really cute is that she says that you'll talk to anything that's fuzzy or soft.  You've been waking up and having a conversation with your blanket.  When we were visiting last week grandma took a soft fuzzy stuffed animal and was playing with you and you started talking to it.  It was so sweet to hear you beginning to form words!  I just wanted to tell you to keep that up - talking to yourself.  Take time to be alone; listen to your inner voice and have a conversation with yourself.  You'll be surprised what troubles you can work out if you'll make the time to be alone.  I've found that I'm not really that bad a guy and I've learned to accept who I am because I've made the time to be alone and face myself, really look at me.  Too many people fill their hours making sure they're not alone.  They fear the loneliness it can bring and they are uncomfortable being around themselves.  I know, it's hard to believe but it's true.  Whenever they find themselves alone they make sure there is some kind of noise happening so they don't have to hear that inner voice.  They always have the music on or something to drown out the voice.  I love music too but sometimes it steals that quiet time that can do you so much good.  So keep talking my little man, and don't ever stop having conversations with yourself.

Here's my second thought.  Always be on guard that you're trying to live a good life.  I love babies; they're so pure.  There's no fear and they never try to hide their feelings.  If they're tired or upset or scared, they'll let you know it!  The problem is as we grow up we're taught to hide our feelings for fear of being ridiculed or hurt.  It's a survival technique that we all learn and can use to our advantage, but sometimes it ends up costing you too.  The most important thing though Levi, is to try to live your life as pure as you did as a child.  We all grow up and gather baggage; we develop bad habits and we do bad things.  You have to fight that all the time because if you don't, sooner or later, it comes out.  You can never hide who you've become from those closest to you and sometimes from everyone else.  You're like a cup of water.

As you grow we teach you to not spill things.  We'll give you a sippy cup at first.  It has a tight lid so you can't spill what's inside.  Soon we'll give you a cup with no lid and help you hold it without spilling.  You'll get the hang of it quickly and within months you'll be handling cups and glasses with ease, but as long as you live you'll have those times, even when you're old (like your parents), when you'll make a mistake and accidentally spill your cup.  It will always, always happen.

Same thing with what's inside you.  If you're a bad person, as much as you try to hide it, as much as you try to handle yourself and not let anyone know, you'll have those times when the bad comes out when you don't want it to.  If you have a cup of water and you shake it, you stress it, guess what?  Water will spill out.  If you have a cup of sludge and you stress it, sludge comes out.  Here's my point; you cannot have a cup of sludge and when stressed or shaken, water comes out.  Get it?  Whatever is inside you, when you are stressed, shaken, or pushed to the edge, it will come out, bad or good.  If you're bad inside, then bad will spill out.  If you're good inside and you're not hiding anything, you never have to worry when those times come (and they will) when you get stressed or pushed to the edge, because you're not hiding anything inside that will eventually spill out.  Way too many people do things in the dark and think that they're ok.  Then it all falls apart in an instant when something happens and their real self spills out.

So be vigilant and work very hard to be a good person.  You don't have to be perfect (because you can't be perfect like your grandma ;-) but if you live a good life you'll never have to worry that someone will "find you out". 

Levi, we're all broken.  We're all broken in some way.  That's ok, that's life.  Taking the time to know yourself, spending time with your mind and your inner voice will help you to accept that you're broken and you'll learn to love yourself anyways.  If you try your best and you live a good life, when you face those tough times you'll be relaxed and understand that life isn't always fun, and you'll come out the other side in even better shape than ever before.

Stay cool my little man.   You have greatness within you already.  I love you Levi.

Grandpa