Levi;

A couple of thoughts for you.  A few weeks ago your mom says you started talking to yourself when you wake up.  What's really cute is that she says that you'll talk to anything that's fuzzy or soft.  You've been waking up and having a conversation with your blanket.  When we were visiting last week grandma took a soft fuzzy stuffed animal and was playing with you and you started talking to it.  It was so sweet to hear you beginning to form words!  I just wanted to tell you to keep that up - talking to yourself.  Take time to be alone; listen to your inner voice and have a conversation with yourself.  You'll be surprised what troubles you can work out if you'll make the time to be alone.  I've found that I'm not really that bad a guy and I've learned to accept who I am because I've made the time to be alone and face myself, really look at me.  Too many people fill their hours making sure they're not alone.  They fear the loneliness it can bring and they are uncomfortable being around themselves.  I know, it's hard to believe but it's true.  Whenever they find themselves alone they make sure there is some kind of noise happening so they don't have to hear that inner voice.  They always have the music on or something to drown out the voice.  I love music too but sometimes it steals that quiet time that can do you so much good.  So keep talking my little man, and don't ever stop having conversations with yourself.

Here's my second thought.  Always be on guard that you're trying to live a good life.  I love babies; they're so pure.  There's no fear and they never try to hide their feelings.  If they're tired or upset or scared, they'll let you know it!  The problem is as we grow up we're taught to hide our feelings for fear of being ridiculed or hurt.  It's a survival technique that we all learn and can use to our advantage, but sometimes it ends up costing you too.  The most important thing though Levi, is to try to live your life as pure as you did as a child.  We all grow up and gather baggage; we develop bad habits and we do bad things.  You have to fight that all the time because if you don't, sooner or later, it comes out.  You can never hide who you've become from those closest to you and sometimes from everyone else.  You're like a cup of water.

As you grow we teach you to not spill things.  We'll give you a sippy cup at first.  It has a tight lid so you can't spill what's inside.  Soon we'll give you a cup with no lid and help you hold it without spilling.  You'll get the hang of it quickly and within months you'll be handling cups and glasses with ease, but as long as you live you'll have those times, even when you're old (like your parents), when you'll make a mistake and accidentally spill your cup.  It will always, always happen.

Same thing with what's inside you.  If you're a bad person, as much as you try to hide it, as much as you try to handle yourself and not let anyone know, you'll have those times when the bad comes out when you don't want it to.  If you have a cup of water and you shake it, you stress it, guess what?  Water will spill out.  If you have a cup of sludge and you stress it, sludge comes out.  Here's my point; you cannot have a cup of sludge and when stressed or shaken, water comes out.  Get it?  Whatever is inside you, when you are stressed, shaken, or pushed to the edge, it will come out, bad or good.  If you're bad inside, then bad will spill out.  If you're good inside and you're not hiding anything, you never have to worry when those times come (and they will) when you get stressed or pushed to the edge, because you're not hiding anything inside that will eventually spill out.  Way too many people do things in the dark and think that they're ok.  Then it all falls apart in an instant when something happens and their real self spills out.

So be vigilant and work very hard to be a good person.  You don't have to be perfect (because you can't be perfect like your grandma ;-) but if you live a good life you'll never have to worry that someone will "find you out". 

Levi, we're all broken.  We're all broken in some way.  That's ok, that's life.  Taking the time to know yourself, spending time with your mind and your inner voice will help you to accept that you're broken and you'll learn to love yourself anyways.  If you try your best and you live a good life, when you face those tough times you'll be relaxed and understand that life isn't always fun, and you'll come out the other side in even better shape than ever before.

Stay cool my little man.   You have greatness within you already.  I love you Levi.

Grandpa

Levi;

We knew you were coming of course, but I didn't think you would have this effect on me. Grandma? I knew she'd be head over heels for you (women are like that, shhh, I'll tell you about them later), but although I was sure you'd make a big impact on me, I had no idea you would steal my heart like you have. So after our initial meeting I knew I was going to create this blog for you. I hope you like it.

My letter to you actually solves a number of things for me. I've been speaking for years but haven't really latched on to what it is I want to speak about. I'm a motivational/self-help kind of speaker with no professional niche. Additionally, in order to have material for speeches, we speakers need to write, but I didn't really have anything that grabbed me that I wanted to write about. Also I have been thinking about getting old and I wanted to figure out how I would leave any wisdom that I have learned through the 53 years of my life.

Then, you were born.

Your grandmother and I were outside in the hospital hallway when you took your first breath. We had rushed to the hospital determined to be there when you arrived. I wasn't really sure why, but Grandma was and she assured me that if we didn't make it there'd be hell to pay on my part. I knew it was important when your father was born because I was supposed to be in the delivery room, but I thought this time we could have breakfast and get there sometime later. I do know, however, that when Grandma has that "tone" in her voice, you just do what she says and you won't get hurt. We got delayed and wandered for a bit in the hospital, then got stuck outside the door to the nursery center. After 5 minutes we learned that all we had to do was ring the bell and they would have let us in! By the time we got to your room you had just been brought in.

The feeling of pride, love and joy that a man gets when he witnesses his own child born and holds him for the first time is one of the most remarkable feelings in the world (your Daddy now knows what I'm talking about). It changes your life. When they placed you in my arms I felt that feeling all over again! You were so damned beautiful (it's ok to call boys beautiful when they're first born) I couldn't stop staring at you. We took 3 million pictures and stayed for as long as we could, and my life has been changed forever again.

On the way home the one thing I wanted to do was to make sure somehow I got to tell you everything I could, everything I knew. How do I teach you these things? Will I live long enough to see you grow up? Will I ever have enough time with you to tell you everything? I knew that I would use the remainder of my days to try to do just that; give you the wisdom of all my years. That, Levi, is how this blog was born. Someday you'll get to read my Letter to Levi; I hope you do. Feel free to use my advise as you see fit, or don't use it at all. You see, my job is now to make sure you have what I have. Your job is to ingest it and use it. I promise to do my job, but I won't ever hold you to yours. That, my little man, is entirely up to you.

My prayer is that we will have all the time we want to go camping, hiking, fishing, Harley riding. Time to skip stones, catch frogs, get dirty and talk about girls (yuck!). Time for me to teach you things so you don't have to learn them the hard way. I dream that for us. But just in case, these letters are for you. I'll tell you stories and teach you lessons and I'll try to keep it fun and eventful. Some things you'll understand right away. Most you won't. That's ok, there will come a day when you learn a lesson the painful, hard way and say "Grandpa, you were right! Now I understand." Sometimes we have to learn the hard way. Don't worry, you'll do just fine.

I can't wait to get started.

I love you Levi.

Grandpa Kraft